Friday, March 14, 2014

The Ideal Relationship

One of my previous posts went into detail about some very messy fictional relationships that I think are better examples of romantic love than the relationship between Heathcliff and Catherine in Wuthering Heights.  That's kind of like making a list of books that have more developed love stories than Twilight.  Wuthering Heights would be one of those, by the way.

It got me thinking about what my ideal relationship would be like.  And I think I know.  I'm certainly not looking for a relationship.  I have other goals, and not an excessive amount of interest.  But if I'm ever up to the challenge of falling in love again, I hope I find someone I can build a relationship with that works the way Gomez and Morticia Addams do.

I want a relationship of equals with someone who appreciates my zeal.

Someone who can tolerate my odd hobbies, and maybe even share them.

And I hope I find someone who enjoys my awkward dancing.

So, basically, I'm an eccentric romantic.  I'm definitely not looking for a relationship.  But for me, Morticia and Gomez have the perfect relationship.  They share a world view.  They have some interests they enjoy together, but then they each have their own hobbies they do alone (Morticia's gardening and knitting, Gomez's train set).  They care deeply about each other.  They each have their own agency, but they don't fight over details or belittle each other the way some sitcom families do (like the Munsters). 

I'm more of a Gomez than a Morticia.  I'm passionate and excitable more than graceful or demure.  I can be pretty, but I'm not about pretty.

So, while I appreciate the dark romantic stories of "The Phantom of the Opera" or "The Great Gatsby," I understand that those are not healthy relationships of equals, and if you're going to have a relationship, you should want a healthy relationship of equals.  I'll probably talk more about some relationships I like on another occasion.